Friday, 27 December 2013

Imagined Conversation with Carol Ann Duffy

Carol Ann Duffy's written a new poem called Christmas Eve which is here below and I have added a few things I'd like to say to her.



Time was slow snow sieving the night, Eh? OK snow looking as if it's being sieved I can understand, now Archy has explained the charming analogy to me. But it's the night that is in the accusative here, not the snow, so that ruins that. Do you mean ‘Time was slow. It was night time. The snow came down as if through a sieve.’? Do you? Well if so that’s a fine sentiment but I don’t think you get the message across very well, so the first line (vitally important bit of the poem) serves only to make the reader feel irritated. If you mean that 'Time' was 'snow which moved slowly' and that this slow-moving snow was 'sieving the night' then my bewilderment is total and my blood will be at the full rolling boil familiar to people who make jam.
a kind of love from the blurred moon; All right, I suppose this could be construed as making sense – though the idea of the snow or love or anything except reflected light and gravitational force coming from the moon is a bit questionable. It might be love from God, via the moon, but I don't think that's what C Duffy means.
your small town swooning, ‘swooning’? Sorry, you’ve lost me here, old girl. unabashed, ‘unabashed’ I will allow you, - and ‘Winter’s own.’
was Winter’s own.
 
Snow was the mind of Time, sifting ‘Snow was the mind of Time’? What does that mean? Time hasn't got a mind.
itself, drafting the old year’s end.
You wrote your name on the window-pane
with your young hand. Well that’s quite sweet. I like “your young hand”. Well done, Carol Ann.
 
And your wishes went up in smoke,
beyond where a streetlamp studied
the thoughtful snow on Christmas Eve,
OK that’s reasonable I suppose - the lamp looking as though it’s studying the snow. But snow can’t be thoughtful.
beyond belief, Beyond belief? What ARE you talking about?
 
as Time, snow, darkness, child, kindled. Kindled??? Kindled what? If you are implying that they all caught fire that is ridiculous. Time and Darkness are abstract nouns, snow is wet and children are non-combustible so kindled is pretty inappropriate here. Also to kindle is (usually) a transitive verb so you shouldn’t just leave it dangling there without an object.
Downstairs, the ritual lighting of the candles. Took place, I presume. Dear dear. Careless.
 
 
In conclusion: I am not equipped to comprehend or appreciate Carol Ann Duffy’s work.
I realise that this is my own fault and is completely due to my own shortcomings and in no way do I hold C A Duffy to blame for it. 
 
 
 

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