New Specimen in the National Effigy Collection

The worst effigy yet seen has been discovered in a modest family home in Warwickshire.

Here it is : the Flagship of the Effigy Fleet -


Hello Kitty figurine
bought by my brother in a Shanghai street after he had had some gin.

A present for his daughter, and on open display in their house. 

At only 3" tall it is much smaller than all the other effigies but it richly deserves its place at the pinnacle of the Collection.

It lowers the tone of G-AHLK and I do not normally defile my pages with such coarse and vulgar references but this is an emergency because my brother must be stopped. We must make him realise that he simply CAN NOT CARRY ON LIKE THIS. One does not buy Hello Kitty on the Loo toys. One just does not. This model has a solar panel on the top of the cistern, which powers a mechanism by which the cat's head nods back and forth. Imagine! It is decadence gone amok.  The other item with which he returned from that shopping expedition was a device for measuring the threadcount on bedlinen. The boy clearly needs help, and he must take less gin before going out to spend money. 



There are several aspects of this affair that should trouble us all -

i) that Hello Kitty on the Loo effigies are even a thing*;

ii) that my brother - MY BROTHER ! - should buy one;

iii) that a powerful jet airliner has been placed under the command of a man with a Hello Kitty effigy concealed in his flight bag, and that some 375 passengers unwittingly boarded such a craft;

iv) that the Borders Agency, or what ever it is that the Excisemen call themselves these days, is allowing such articles to enter the country undetected. It is very lax of them and puts our Communal Sanity at risk.

* to be even a thing  =  even to exist