Hangovers : God's Inhumanity to Man.

It is widely believed that God lets hangovers occur because he wants us to know he doesn't love us.
I don't think that's right though, and my view is this :
Hangovers are Satan's way of being spiteful. Pure and simple.
Why shouldn't we be permitted to enjoy a few beers without being felled to the ground in a headache-ridden, nauseated, photophobic, writhing heap?



HM Govt says  "Sir! Leave the rest of that pint!
Otherwise you might drink
more than your designated number of units."

HM Govt jumps on the bandwagon with its idiotic recommended limit of 21 units of drink per week, which figure it plucked at random out of the seven-times-table for ease of dividing by the no of days in a week. It does not constitute enough to keep a fly alive in my opinion. Women are only allowed 14 units. This cruel edict i) is sexist and ii) confirms my theory about the 7 times table. What are people like me who don't like non-alcoholic drinks supposed to do? Die of thirst?
Who says hangovers are caused by drinking anyway? I find the allocation of them totally arbitrary. Some days I wake up with an awful hangover even though I had (next to) nothing to drink the previous day, while at other times I can drink an appalling amount, yet get off scot-free without a twinge of pain to show for it.

If hangovers aren't wrought by Satan Prince of Darkness then why do we have them? What might Darwin's thoughts be on this? That hangovers evolved, to prevent us from overdoing it? It isn't working, is it? We still overdo it, and that on a regular basis. This is not how evolution is supposed to function. Evolution is supposed to lead us down a path BENEFICIAL to the species.
 

If God made hangovers, to try to stop us drinking, I have to say this is a FAILED INITIATIVE. Here is why. Picture the scene:

A convivial evening down at the White Horse. Merriment galore in progress.

Greg says "Another pint, Mel?"

Hangover pixie says "Mel! NO! Think of the hangover you will have tomorrow a.m."

Does Mel say "No thanks Greg, better not. It might give me a headache in 10 hours' time"?

NO she most certainly does not. She is PERFECTLY willing to risk a little minor discomfort in 10 hours' time. What do you think she is - some sort of WIMP?

She says "Yes Greg! Yes PLEASE!" and she tells Hangover Pixie to go away.

The next a.m. Hangover Pixie says "I told you so!"

Everyone hates Hangover Pixie.

 

The reason that the initiative has failed is that the consequence is too remote from the action. It would require a heart of FLINT not to carry on boozing on a lively night just because tomorrow your headache might (only might, note) be a bit worse than it's going to be anyway. 

Hangovers are a malicious, pointless invention and I do not accept that God could have made them. He made nasty spiders, squirrels etc but these are necessary because they have their place in some food chain or other. Hangovers fulfil no such mitigating purpose and as such, only a MALEVOLENT God would inflict them. I reject the idea of God's being malevolent.  He made Beethoven and honeysuckle and long-tailed tits and the heavens and I defy you to explain how he could make them and then hangovers. It just does not add up.



There he is, the swine! Hangover Pixie.
Why should he have all the fun?

 

Yes; we all know who is really to blame, don't we? It's Hangover Pixie. And everyone hates him, don't they?
Yes! Everyone hates Hangover Pixie.

Hangover Pixie is one of the Names of Satan.