In 1499 Michelangelo completed his Pieta. Nice, eh?
This sublime work has brought solace to countless souls, and done much to convey what a Good Sort Our Lady is, over 5 centuries of devotion.
It was such a peak of artistic skill that we could be forgiven for not having made much improvement in techniques during the intervening period but one might have expected us at least to have maintained the standards.
And yet... 500 years on, how are we doing? The news is not good I'm afraid.
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| Ignoble and trite. |
Some time ago this travesty (left) appeared on our High Street, lowering the tone and keeping tourists at bay.
The subject matter, though startling, is inexplicable in the context.
The concept is crude and the execution poor. What cow ever sat like that? What cow ever wore a waistcoat or held a blackboard? Where is the elegance and easy grace that we see in real cows? Hostage as I am to a lifelong affection for cows I am affronted on their behalf.
A fibreglass model some 5' tall, it is coarse and unsubtle in colour and shape, and rightly offends all who gaze upon it - save perhaps for 2-year-olds, whose judgement is questionable.
A second such statue was erected in Minehead shortly afterwards. We can safely say that the only Visitor Information this imparted to holidaymakers and, indeed, locals, was "We despise you. Go Away". The fortuitous juxtaposition of an overflowing wastebin speaks volumes does it not?
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| At Lynmouth |
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| Lyme Regis |
Since then further instances of the style have been noted as the contagion spread first across the South West and then over the whole of England. All are as uncouth as their cow antecedents and all display equal vulgarity of vision. They are favoured by snack bar proprietors in particular which suggests that these traders have scant regard for their customers' wellbeing. Proximity to the ugly figures causes distress on both visual and intellectual levels and is known to stimulate production of the same misery hormones as are generated in response to hearing 'Jingle Bells'. Frankly I can not see how they have the gall to intrude the things into any public space. It can't be healthy. And bearing in mind the tiny proportion of 2-year-olds in the population, is it fair?
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| Also Lyme Regis. I quite like this fellow actually; he looks jolly. |
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| Spectacularly unpleasant. An insult to Our Boys. Lynmouth. |
This Hot Dog caricature raises troubling questions of cannibalism, autophagy, hygiene issues and genetic manipulation among other things and it is in VERY UNFORTUNATE TASTE. There are copies of it at Cromer and Manchester to my certain knowledge. 
These are abroad - in Prague (left), and, alarmingly, the Subcontinent which has now succumbed to the contamination, evidenced by this one (right) which has been sighted in India. Yes I have spies all over the place. Photos copyright Smith Bros Ltd
Poor Michelangelo. How we have squandered his legacy.
On the state of Sculpture today I concur with my young nephew (11 yrs), who announced to the family recently during discussion about his sister's art homework, that he does not rate the work of Barbara Hepworth very highly. Yo Nephew!
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